I acquired my skill for the arts decades ago during a time when Jack the Ripper was making headlines. I have a degree in amputation, creature creation, constipation, and the emancipation of the proclamation. As you can see I am master of all trades so don’t call me Jack, he’s my cousin.

You must wonder “where does this incredible man come from”? I come from Massapequa, NY of course. Okay, okay I tell you the truth, I’m from Holbrook, NY but I attended Julliard, lived through the Black Plaque, and… okay, okay I tell you the truth, I attended the Crane School of Music. My parents were Transylvanians; my mother was a Shiatsu and my father a hunchback. It was love at first bite. She drew blood, he gave her a ring, and she ate it. Oh my goodness, very well, I tell you the truth, they were both from the Big Apple, NYC. Mom was a lawyer and dad was a dentist. I remember the things they used to say to me like: “Get out of the bathroom! What are you doing all day? Give someone else a chance!” Oh, how I loved them to death.

Very well enough with the reminiscing, Dr. Fingers Frankenberg here for your entertainment at all your Deathly Yours Theater events.

Thank you